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Frozen Boogers, Southern Racists, and Kurt Russell. Smitty's Back

Well Sportsfans, Im back, after a brief hiatus, and Im ready to produce at the level of sports humor that you have come to expect from me.

 

Before I start, Id like to take a minute to talk about some housekeeping details. Im hoping to upgrade to a real website, and leave the tripod world behind. However, there is a major problem. I know absolutely nothing about website maintenance or design, and have neither the time or mental capacity to change that sad fact. Therefore, I am asking the help of you, my faithful readers. If anyone out there is savvy in the world of webpagery, or has an existing website that would be greatly enhanced by my mad musings, drop me a line, and perhaps we can work together to create a harmonious new world, a haven for all moustache-philes and Lamar Odom addicts. Until then, dear readers, be happy with what youve got.

 

Im youd like to help, email me at smithmic@dickinson.edu

 

Now, on to the funny.

 

I had a wonderful Christmas Vacation, and the sports world has kept on moving. So here are my thoughts on the past few weeks.

 

 

My favorite college football moment this year ( and possibly of all time) was during the second half of the Oklahoma/LSU national championship game. The cameras tightened on Bob Stoops roaming the sidelines, but my eye was immediately drawn to the 10 Gallon Cowboy hat and looming visage of the incomparable Okie fanatic, the WWEs own JR Jim Ross! Im sure watching LSU tear apart the Sooners was just about enough to send Good Old JR into another relapse of Bells Palsy.

( . . .mmmmMy Gawd! Thats Matt Maucks music!!!!)

 

For the record, this sideline moment easily edged out the Red Alert Ice Booger otherwise known as Jeff Fishers moustache.

 

 

Is it too early to induct the Real World: San Diego, into the Reality TV show hall of fame? Between the muscle-headed loudmouth, overtly racist southerner, and the moody white-bread Black guy, this cast is starting to look like the 2003 New York Giants.

 

Reason #392 that TiVo could be the greatest invention since TV: Gary Andersons face after his last second field goal in the Titans/Ravens playoff game.

 

 

Is there a more underappreciated comic genius than Dave Coulier? Ok maybe Steve Gutenberg.

 

 

 

Apparently, Giants backup QB, Jesse Palmer recently agreed to be the next Bachelor because he saw the success that Tony Sirigusa was having on his show, My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee.

 

 

As far as Im concerned, the Man Show died with departure of Adam Corolla and Jimmy Kimmel. And the blame lies solely on the broad shoulders of the Worlds Un-funniest man, Joe Rogan.

 

 

Ok, Ill say it. As much as Im looking forward to the Feburary 6th release of Miracle, I have to keep reminding myself the Kurt Russell IS prominently involved.

 

 

Now that Mo Vaughn is retired from baseball, I think Vegas should start making odds on how long it takes him to enter the Nathans Hot Dog eating contest.

 

Lets just hope that Walt Frazer and Moses Malone are in NO WAY an integral part of the alleged Dr. J sex tape.

 

With no discernable home field, the Expos are not-so-slowly turning in to the Washington Generals of the Major Leagues. You know, traveling around the country to lose to a more talented team every night.  

 

Vin Bakers alcohol relapse, and subsequent indefinite suspension, might just be the least surprising NBA moment of the season.

 

Finally, Im going to issue my readers a warning. What Im about to say will be unpopular, and Im sure that Ill get more than a few angry emails, but Im going to say it anyway.

 

With the horrific playoff exit, brilliant off-season and the hype from sports writers everywhere (MGM Grand gave 8/5 Odds on a World Series Victory) The Red Sox are starting to have vibe, eerily reminiscent of the 2003 New York Giants . . . arghhh.

 

Until next time sports fans . . . until next time.

 

 

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